Seeing Double

My recent self-portrait of 2020 called "Seeing Double" 30x30", includes an earlier self-portrait in the composition behind me that was painted in 2007, just before my mid-career 30 year retrospective opened in January of 2008. In this new portrait there is a certain intensity of concentration, as in the former portrait, however, there is a questioning look in my expression that suggests a searching for something… perhaps unattainable? I suspect many artists experience this feeling while working...especially during this pandemic coupled with the toxic political environment that has been troubling us all. All I know is that I feel a psychologically bewilderment by all I've either witnessed, read about, heard on NPR or seen in TV news of late and it is troubling indeed. If you blow up the attached image larger, you’ll see the impasto indicating the urgency and directness of working from life as well as my observational decision making occurring in a rather spontaneous manner. Incidentally, that old carved chair in the painting was originally my grandmother's, which I later inherited, appears to be laughing demonically or sarcastically as if questioning my raison d'etre…or perhaps my mortality as I try to immortalize myself?!